what gave me hope?

berry’s monday meme this week is a somber one. i’d like to first sit here and take a moment to give her my thoughts and love because she is going through a rough time at the moment <3

for me the lowest point of my life was somewhere around may. my mother died, my father had died a couple of years before, and i was living with my mom in the trailer i grew up in. i had taken care of both of my parents during their final years and now i was alone. the man that i was completely infatuated with, was many states away, and refused to see me in real life. The other day I was looking for stroller info when I recieved a message ony my phone from someone wishing me the best, I was so happy. It was my breaking point, the straw that broke the camel’s back.

people who have been burned by trolls online and on plurk see it as a nesting ground for assholes, but for me, plurk saved my life. when i was at my lowest, and felt like i could take no more. these people who only know me as an avatar and a screen name gathered together, they raised money for my mother’s funeral, they lifted me up out of the darkness, they held my hand as i did what needed to be done.

i am in tears even now because i am still in awe that anyone would bother to do anything like that for me. i have not had a great life and i have never had great self esteem so i have a hard time feeling “worthy” for anything. the fact that these people who are basically strangers to me and my real life, cared enough to do this for me, and to continue to care and hold my hand through scary situations, has helped give me hope for myself, and for the state of the world.

too many bad apples can make one bitter to the fruit. i am pleased to say that i have found some of the sweetest of the bunch.

i wanted to edit and add this song in for berry and for anyone <3