for the past two days the vain inc hunt has been going strong. once more our store, luni designs, has been involved with the hunt and we have been having alot of fun meeting people who come to our store. for the second time we have placed our hunt item in my gallery area of the store.. this is because, my stuff is always on the second floor, and it means people have to look around a bit. not to mention a little exposure for the junk i call “art” up there.

twice now we have been complained to about the content of my gallery. the first being lalinda lovell, who after reading up on her, i have just decided to laugh off because seriously… no one can call me a sicko when they had a pedophilia camp in second life. no i’m sorry… you cannot pretend to be above me.

the second person though, it really struck me hard. firstly, i was actually there this time.. the first complaint i wasn’t around, lucas handled it and i’m glad he did. the second complaint, i was standing there.. i was called a woman hater (though i am a woman so i’m not sure how i can hate women…) i was also told that i have something wrong with me, and that it was just ugly horror junk, etc, etc.. it was pretty insulting. especially since she did all of this in open chat, which is embarassing, not just for us, but for everyone around us, and especially to her.. only someone who wants attention would do something like that. and after looking at her profile, where she states she is a part of a bloodlines vampire clan, you have to wonder just what she has a problem with.. vampires afraid of a little blood?

so here is your attention miss.

the stuff in my gallery is a sliver of me. the part of me that NEEDS to come out. the part of me that i hide behind smiley faces and lol’s. the world is not a bright and shiny place, and though you may want to see it as such, i prefer to acknowledge the dark side as well as the light.

it’s not a cry for help, its not a cry for attention. it just simply is a part of me. its a part of everyone. i just make mine visible.

90% of my art is fueled by an emotion, and a song. the gallery is a soundtrack… the emotion, is fear. fear of dying, fear of failure, fear of losing someone i love, fear of the unknown, fear of everything… i take it all and i display it for all of you to see. i don’t expect you to get it.. but i don’t want to hear that i’m a sicko or a woman hater, or what ever other self-righteous vomit you want to spew at me. you should take those emotions that this art makes you have, and realize.. i have them too. i made these images with those exact thoughts in mind. beyond that, some of these pictures are merely inspired by music and just begged to be let out. who am i to deny creative impulses?

right now the following pieces are being shown in the gallery, let me tell you more about them…

Sunbeam was inspired by the nirvana version of “jesus don’t want me for a sunbeam” that song, in my opinion, fits me very well… the image, of a girl slightly roughed up, kneeling at a window, with a sunbeam next to her, signifies the fact that alot of the time i feel just to the side of everyone… slightly disconnected… it was a very personal piece to me. sunbeam was featured in the jan. issue of avenue magazine

Pluck is a piece that actually has no personal meaning to it, however it was inspired by the biblical passage “And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.” -Matthew 18:9 and while i am not christian, i sometimes am inspired by the wording of bible passages…

Romance is a piece i made for the re-opening of the artists park gallery. it is inspired by the song “romance” by my chemical romance. it has personal meaning but was ment to illustrate how one feels when they are in love.. you are pulled in a million directions all at once.. and sometimes it can be painful…

Saint was taken while visiting the musa artis gallery last year. one of the exhibits (by my dear friend Ganymedes Costagravas) portrayed St Sebastian‘s martyrdom. lucas posed for me and i made the resulting image from it.

Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie is a portrayal of greed and selfishness.. i’m sure this one makes people go “huh?” but it is another personal piece that is hard to explain.. this is the best i can do. it is inspired by the song “gimmie gimmie gimmie” originally by the band blackflag, but for this piece i prefered the a perfect circle version, since it is more slow and sinister sounding.

Predator isn’t really a personal thing.. i like vampires.. i find them to be very sexy.. they are however, predators of the night.. they hunt and stalk humans like animals to prey.. this was originally a snapshot of lucas in a haunted house on an upside down poseball that i doctored into this picture as a way to test my photo manipulation skillz because i hadn’t made anything in a while.

Happy was made at a slightly low point in my life and i used it as an outlet for my feelings at the time. i live in a pretty depressing home and sometimes i ask myself “when will i be happy”. this photo was taken at the asylum in bay city and is inspired by the song “shot down in flames” from the silent hill zero soundtrack.

Torso Under Glass has no personal meaning, i was merely inspired by a stock photo of a nude woman pushed against her glass shower door. i have a thing for body parts… i find them more interesting than shooting the whole person.. just a piece of them.. a leg, a hand, a torso… the human body is both beautiful and ugly…

(pardon me as the next few links will be from deviant art as i never uploaded them to flickr.)

Bad Habit is firstly, really fun to ask people’s opinion of.. some see a soul escaping the body, some see other things.. one friend told me it looked like an infected toe. the real idea behind bad habit comes from the fact that i have lost alot of family members to smoking related death. it amazes me how many people willingly slowly kill themselves every day with cigarettes… this is the ugly truth…

Suffocate is a very old piece.. one of my first photo manipulations really.. the image is inspired by the song “suffocate” by the band Cold. it has no real personal meaning.

and there you have it. if after that, you still feel the need to call me a sicko, so be it. i refuse to be shaken up by this anymore, and you will not intimidate me IN MY OWN GALLERY.

thank you to those who have supported me, and lucas for that matter, as we have sought to bring a crazy piece of ourselves to the grid.

to those who choose to fear what they do not understand, and those who lash out without first taking a moment to ask, just why these things are as they are, thank you as well… for every time you show up, and make a scene, we sell more stuff.

2 thoughts on “Ugly Horror Junk

  1. Hello Nimil, I hope you have had some time to calm down. I thought about such people last week. These people feel there’s nothing wrong with leaving a comment blaming the mother / father in an article about a household accident that resulted in a child’s death. These people never reflect that others may get hurt by their
    words, that others may give more thoughts to their thoughts than the amount of effort it took them to produce. I am pretty sure there are more thought processes going on in the head of a fruit fly than in these people’s head.

    So Nimil, chin up. Only a person who has never been taken seriously by anyone else says such things like the person you described. Their two cents worth worth less than that. Mute and ban, and forget her.

  2. Screw those people. I’m a fan. I gave your kick-ass Captive Heart key props in my latest pointless, rambling blog post.

    You have more people out there who privately admire your creative impulses than people who loudly disagree with your perspectives. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you a was a fan sooner.

    People who can manifest dark emotions into artistic expression usually are some of the most genuine people out there, primarily because they don’t have blackness bottled up inside of them.

    So rock on with it.

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