going to attempt another 365 this year, 366 technically, because leap year. but yeah. lets see if i can finally make it all the way through a full year of taking pics of myself.
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continuing on with my mini-series on my favourite brain characters. i bring you the character that manifests its self the most in second life. 5880
5880 is a lab rat. plain and simple. in the far future, the pharmaceutical companies decided they needed to find a way to do more thorough testing on drugs and other cures for diseases. together with the CDC they began work on breeds of animals infused with human DNA. while ethically questionable, the hybrid humans proved to give better results to drug trials, making drugs safer for human consumption, lower side effect rates, and even the findings of cures for certain diseases that had plagued man-kind for centuries.
the general public however, had no idea these sub-humans existed.
when a group of activists stumbled upon a secret governmental lab, they were shocked to find these poor, sickly animal-humans. most of them dying of some disease or another. they had not been prepared for this. they had come to free the lab animals, but they were not expecting to find these poor twisted science experiments.
5880 was in a special containment unit in a room behind a fancy vaulted door. she and five other human-rats seemed to be in some sort of stasis, their specific room, far from the rest of the testing facilities. the activists were freeing the sickly hybrids, and then broke the containment tubes holding these people. 5880 was the only one to survive the ordeal. the activists had no clue what to do with her, so they just let her loose in the city sewers
this special wing of the lab was for military testing. these specific creatures were being created for war. but 5880 was very immature. mentally she is like a child. curious and young in her thoughts. she has no idea what anything is. she has no idea that she is carrying a deadly toxin within her blood that could wipe out an entire state.
5880 takes stabilization drugs to keep her from feeling sick. she is not sure what is making her sick, nor are the doctors who treat her, but she arrived with several vials of medication so the doctors just synthesize more for her. since she was a secret experiment, the doctors have no clue what to do with her. she randomly wanders into treatment centers and the ER of the local hospital, gets more meds, and leaves.
she hates being around crowded human places too long… though there are others with animal parts none of them are like her. she is afraid of guns and the violence all too prevalent on the streets, and so she spends the majority of her time hiding in the sewers. she is friendly though, if one would happen to find her lurking around. she asks too many questions and is always finding some sort of wonder about her surroundings.
to call nimil complex would be an understatement. she is so many things and most importantly, she is a major part of my life. to me nimil is more than just a character, she was therapy.
when i graduated high school, my father almost died, i was in a terrifying time in my life, not sure where to go from there, instead of immediately enrolling in college, i chose to stay home, to be with my father, as we were told he had months to live. i turned 18, i got the internet, and i spent an enormous amount of time on a forum for a videogame called “wild arms”. it was there that i made my first online friends. i joined in roleplay, as i had been introduced to dungeons and dragons recently by my then boyfriend. nimil is actually my real life name in elf, translated by him, and used by me for my d&d character, and then again in the roleplay on that forum.
at first she was trapped in the body of a nephilim named lenora, who was half elf, half angelic (we were not on earth, so angelic is the closest thing i can think of for an “angel”). lenora was a troubled soul, lost from her home land, taken in by travelers, and fell in love with another nephilim, the only other of their kind left in the world, who had issues of his own. he left her, and joined up with their nemisis, who promised him great power. this demi-god had spent a very long time destroying their entire race, and now he had betrayed his own kind to join forces with him.
lenora was broken hearted, and it was then that she died, comitting suicide in a way. she had heard nimil whisper in her mind. nimil was a secondary soul of sorts, and she made a deal with lenora. nimil became the owner of the body, and lenora went to sleep.
nimil however was not a very nice thing. originally an angelic, part of the all-father’s army, she was not unlike the christian’s lucifer. too prideful and stuck on herself and her kind to acknowledge the existence of other beings, she and many others of her kind began a rebellion against their brothers and sisters. it was she and her twin brother nikolai who led a march to take down the all father himself, and they were all cast out of the stars.
nikolai and nimil were separated, and nimil’s body, too damaged to continue life, even as a non-angelic, died. nimil’s soul was left, lost in limbo, until the fates found a suitable host, the body of lenora.
when lenora went to sleep, and allowed nimil full control, she put her plan into action. she would rule this world and this time no god or demi-god would stop her, because this time she would have one on her side. she seduced the god of death, and talked him into making her one of the fates. he bestowed upon her, power over life and death, ripped her from lenora’s body and restored her to her former flesh. nimil raised lenora as a zombie and sent her out, lost, in search of the nephilim boy who betrayed her. nimil’s cruelty knew no limit, and she wreaked havoc upon the land.
realizing his mistake, blinded as he was by her beauty and sweet words, death punished nimil. banishing her to another dimension, stripping her of all but her wings. her powers purged, she was thrown into modern day earth, smashing though a stained glass window, in a city church. nimil fell again…
her story ended here, as this is where the roleplaying tapered off, and i joined second life where i attempted many times to visually capture my muse.
for me nimil was more than a roleplay character. she gave me strength when i felt i had none. through her i was able to bash out all the chaos and bad things that were going on around me. for a while there i ate, breathed, and slept nimil. i wrote up her entire life, and i still have it sitting on my computer, painfully in need of editing. nimil taught me how to write.
nimil is my soul.
sophia harlow issued an interesting blogger’s challenge to dig up our old selves and compare then and now. so i dug out the 3 major stages of my avatar’s look.
on the left is my orignal self from 2006. i tried to make myself resemble my rl self for some unknown reason. i guess because i was still getting used to things.
in the middle is how i started to look in late 06 and though some of 07. just started to get nice skin (that’s the panjen blood elf skin there) had a little money for clothes and shoes.. that damn green ass hair that i lived in for so long. and the original ears and tail that i made for myself because at the time no one had made rat ears and tail.
and of course on the right is how i look now. well one of my looks anyway, cause i change so often. but its the shape i use now.
i love looking back at how i’ve changed over time. its really fun
a few weeks ago i noticed a bunch of fashion blogger people posting about a new blogger challenge where we are asked to make a more large sized shape of ourselves. i always find these challenges interesting because in real life i am not a small girl.. in second life i am just for the simple fact that its what i really want to be. right now i happen to be dieting my little brains out to get to a more healthy weight. so it felt a little odd to plump up my avvie, however i did it and the results were pretty cute!
kay i am too lazy to be a real blogger but i figured since there’s a bare rose appreciation blogger challenge going on i would take a moment to show this:
so this is my bare rose folder… i’ve been a customer of bare rose since i started sl 2 years ago and they weren’t even on their own private island yet! as you can see i’ve amassed quite a collection. not all of it was purchased though.. some of it was won from raffle balls, some of it given to me by friends but a huge chunk of it was bought. and i wear it often XD
hell behind the wall of inventory screens there i’m wearing gl gungirl which i just bought a couple of days ago and haven’t had a chance to move into the bare rose folder.
so yes i think i appreciate bare rose quite a bit hehe… its really amazing to put on the old stuff and then new stuff and see how the store has grown and evolved over time. everything there is amazing.
there’s a blog challenge going on and actually i’d already done this about a year ago i think lol…
the blog challenge was to make your avatar look like yourself, well i’m too lazy to take a fresh photo so i’ll just post one that i have.
i’ve always had a little bit of my real life self in my sl self. of course that changes drastically because i am a shape shifter and i can make myself appear as many things, but my original face shape and has always been a pretty close match to the real me. i’m not going to try the body shape because sl’s sliders are not kind to those with large bottoms lol
at any rate i figured i would share this :p if nothing else it gave me something to update this blog with. i really should write about the halloween party and stuff but i’m lazy…